Our Fight Against Multiple Myeloma

NOTE:  “Wolf” is my husband’s nickname and I am using it in place of his real name in this post.

“I believe we’re looking at stage four cancer.”   Those were words I never wanted to hear from my husband’s VA Oncologist, but they were spoken none the less.  It was Wednesday, January 3^rd, 2018 and up to that point, the worst day of my life.  

I met Wolf’s gaze across the three feet of space that separated us in the small office and could see him struggling with his own thoughts and emotions.  I knew just looking at him, that he was determined to fight it, and be brave.  In fact, less than one minute after those words left the doctor’s mouth, Wolf set his shoulders and said, “Okay.  What’s the next step?  What do we have to do to fight this?”  If he could be given that kind of news and still put on a brave face, so could I, right?

I tried so hard to keep a stiff upper lip as I asked questions, like, what does stage four mean?  How much time do we have left?  What kind of cancer is it?  At that point, without any biopsies or definitive test results, the Oncologist couldn’t fully answer most of my questions.  He could tell me that stage four means the cancer has spread from its point of origin to other areas of the body.  According to Wolf’s PET scan there was no room for doubt that he had lesions (tumors) in multiple areas.

I looked to Wolf’s beautiful, brown eyes again and was gripped by the fear of losing him.  In the next breath I was in full ugly-cry mode.  Wolf came to me, wrapped me in his arms, and held me tight.  As he told me “It’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna fight it.  We’re gonna beat it.”, it occurred to me that this was all wrong.  My husband, my hero, my Marine, should NOT have cancer.  Furthermore, I should be the one consoling and reassuring him, not the other way around!

When my bawling subsided, Wolf sat back down.  The tears turned to anger quickly.  I wanted to rage and scream at the world, and every single VA Doctor we’d dealt with in the past few years.  With all of his ailments, chronic pain, and complaints during his doctor visits, no one ever thought to look deeper.    

And let us not forget, it took the Corpus Christi VA months to keep an appointment with his primary care doctor.  They would schedule an appointment, then shortly after would cancel it.  They’d schedule another and again cancel it.  This went on for over a year and a half.  They finally kept the November 22^nd appointment to see a fill-in doctor and that was when Wolf was able to complain about the pain and numbness in his chest.  That doctor sent him to x-ray the same day, and that was when they discovered the first dark mass.  What if they had kept one of the many appointments they’d cancelled on him?  What if this could have been caught sooner?  What if steps could have been taken to prevent it entirely?

The what-ifs just went on and on.  With each one I added to the list, the more I wanted to scream.  I wanted to take my sorrow, fear and fury out on that cancer.  I wanted to do bodily harm to it.  I wanted to use physical violence on it for daring to inflict itself upon the man I love with every fiber of my being.  I wanted it to feel pain and anguish.  I wanted IT to suffer because WE were suffering.

Unfortunately, while Cancer is certainly the enemy, it lives inside the people we love.  We can’t even relish its agony while we attack it with radiation and chemotherapy and a variety of other treatments used these days.  Why?  Because our attempts to kill the cancer in the people we love, means they have to endure the side effects of grueling treatment regiments that can be demoralizing, debilitating, and do not come with a guarantee for success.

We aren’t giving up though.  The VA Oncologist strongly recommended we use our private insurance to see an Oncologist closer to home, outside the VA, because Cancer is a time sensitive issue.  My husband is a 100% disabled Veteran.  He is entitled to having his cancer treated through the VA, but we couldn’t afford to wait months at a time for the VA to put us through all the red tape to get the treatment he would require.  We had to act fast.   Additionally, the VA Oncologist didn’t want us to have to travel 3 hours there and back for his treatment to be done at the Harlingen VA Hospital because it would be detrimental to Wolf’s treatment. 

When we agreed that going outside the VA would be best, the Oncologist sent Wolf’s records to the Corpus Christi Cancer Center that same day.  By 9am the following day, January 4^th, we received a phone call from the CCCC that they could see us that day.  By 2pm we were meeting with Wolf’s new oncologist.  

From that day everything moved very swiftly.   Another MRI was scheduled, and more lab work was needed, both of which we did on Monday, January 8^th.  By Wednesday, January 10^th, the Oncologist called and directed us to go to the ER for emergency surgery.  The results of the MRI revealed that a large mass was compressing the nerves in Wolf’s sacrum (S1 & S2 are right above your tailbone).  The compression was causing pain, numbness, and Cauda Equina Syndrome, but the Oncologist was most concerned about paralysis.

So, we went to the ER that night.  They kept Wolf in the hospital for the next 5 days.  Thursday the 11^th, they did a CT scan and bone scan.  Friday the 12^th they performed a Laminectomy, which is a procedure where they remove the center sections of the bone, so they can reach the tumor underneath.  Originally, they were only going to remove a portion of S1, but when they opened Wolf up, they realized the tumor was so large, they needed to remove a portion of S2 as well.

Wolf spent the weekend in the hospital recovering.  In-spite of the pain from surgery, he could already feel an improvement in sensation.  By day two after surgery he was walking faster, more upright and with less pain than he had been prior to surgery.  Monday, he had surgery to install his medi-port, which would be needed when he began chemotherapy.  By Monday evening we were back home with our pets.

Things continued to move quickly after Wolf’s surgery.  Less than a week after the operation, we met with his Oncologist again, whom informed us that after speaking with the surgeon, they both felt confident that the tumor was aggressive enough that Wolf would have been paralyzed by Saturday the 13^th, had he not listened to his oncologist’s advice.  I think we’re still both in shock from hearing that.

Wolf’s local Oncologist stated that his cancer was “a sexy mystery”.  The Pathologist performing the biopsy on the tumor they removed was having a difficult time determining whether it was Lymphoma or Myeloma because it was behaving like both.  When the final Pathology report came in, they diagnosed him with Plasmablastic Myeloma.  Myeloma is a blood cancer, specifically in the plasma cells.

In order to prolong Wolf’s life for as long as possible, his Oncologist stated he wanted him to receive the best treatment available.  Therefore, he strongly recommended we have Wolf seen at MD Anderson in Houston, where a team of Oncologists would manage his case.  They would run tests to determine the best course of treatment, which we could then have done locally, since Houston is also about 3 hours from where we live.  We agreed, and Wolf’s records were sent to MD Anderson that same day.

The following week we received a call from MD Anderson to schedule his first appointment at the Myeloma Center in Houston.  It has been a whirlwind of road trips, doctor visits, tests, and sleepless nights for the past few weeks.  Wolf’s final diagnosis is High Grade Plasma Cell Neoplasm with Plasmablastic Anaplastic Features.  To simplify, he has very aggressive Multiple Myeloma.

The Oncologist is optimistic about treatment and is hoping they’ll be able to put him into remission.  Wolf is so determined to fight, I don’t have the words to express how much I love and admire his strength and courage.  Starting Monday, February 19^th, he begins taking three chemotherapy medicines.  One is given by IV twice a week, the other two are pills.  He will also be starting radiation treatment on the 29^th.   They are going to do his first series of Chemo and radiation treatments, then will run tests to see if they have been successful in shrinking or destroying any of the lesions.  If they make progress they will do another series of treatments and run more tests.  When they are confident he is in remission they will continue with maintenance treatments.

A stem cell transplant from his own healthy stem cells is an option for down the road.  I have already asked how I can go about testing to see if I am a match, so I can donate stem cells, however, I am being told that using donor stem cells is not something they want to do unless necessary, because there is always a chance that his body will reject the donor cells.  In those instances, it can be very life threatening.  Additionally, the doctor tells me I can have the tests done but won’t find out if I am a match or not, unless it shows on a database.  So, its not like they will run the test and come to me to say, “You’re a match!”.  I am still going to have it done.  Even if I am not a match for Wolf, I could be a match for someone else.

To all of you that have been offering your thoughts and prayers thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  Contrary to what a lot of people are saying in the media these days, thoughts, prayers and positive energy DO matter.  In many cases it is all we CAN offer when our hands are tied against doing anything else.  Facing Cancer is one of those instances, and I will never scoff, sneer, or turn my nose up at offered prayers.  They mean more than words can say, especially when it comes to my husband.  He is my everything and I am beyond terrified at the prospect of life without him.

Thank you for all the emotional support you’ve offered through these difficult times for Wolf and me.  If I don’t log in for days at a time, or if I seem distant, anti-social, or quiet, please don’t take it personally.  Every single person that touches my SLife in a positive way, means a lot to me, even if I don’t get to talk to or hang out with many of you as often as I’d like.   You all matter to me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, infinitely, for being positive aspects in my life.

Hugs, Motorboats, Gooses and Love,

Jaxynn

The Cat Mom Chronicles: Volume 1: Norris's First Bath

Today my husband (aka Wolfie) decided to bring Bear, one of our male Siberian huskies, through the back door of the house.  Typically this is not done because it requires walking through the main part of the house to reach the mancave.

Why is this a big deal in our house?  Because the dogs are restricted to the mancave and yard unless closely supervised.  We have six cats that reside in the main part of the house, and huskies have high prey drives.  Small, furry creatures that move fast tend to trigger our dogs' instinct to chase.  Usually they will start to lunge, then realize oh wait, that's a no-no and they'll stop.  We don't want to take chances, so we supervise very closely when we bring the dogs into the main part of the house for one on one play and snuggle time.

Instead of taking Bear directly to the mancave, hubby led him through the living room to our bedroom, where I was still laying in bed.  This of course triggered Hawthorne's aggressive dislike of dogs, resulting in a lot of hissing and growling while his fur boofed up all over.  I mean ALL over, not just his tail.  I usually put Hawthorne in the kitty room and close the door before I bring any of the dogs into the main part of the house.  My chubby little American Shorthair is fearless and uses the attack-before-being-attacked method when it comes to dogs.  Fortunately this time Hawthorne's only aggressive maneuver toward Bear was to cut him off by the fireplace before joining Causeway on the kitty castle (giant carpet covered cat tree).  From their lofty perches, the two felines vocalized their displeasure over Bear's presence.  They did not use their indoor voices.

Norris on the other hand, opted for a different tactic at Bear's appearance in the living room.  He dove into the fireplace!  I have to give him credit for being a clever little baby at 14 weeks (3.5 months) old.  Our fireplace is fairly small.  Instead of a floor-standing grate it has two mesh-like metal curtains that come together at the middle to keep everything inside.  They overlap slightly, which has always kept curious little Norris out of the fireplace in the past.  Today was a different matter.  Norris managed to take cover by getting inside that fireplace, which ultimately covered him in soot! 

We were not aware of Norris's chimney sweeping efforts until after hubby escorted Bear back to the mancave.  I heard my hubby call out, "What is all this black stuff on the floor?"  I immediately rushed out to see what he was talking about. We have beautiful, beige tile floors and I would hate to see them ruined. 

Sure enough, there was Norris sitting smack dab in the middle of a fine, thick coat of soot.  Norris was covered in it too.  He'd shaken himself so that the soot dusted the floor in a messy circle all around him.  My handsome little spotted Bengal kitten wasn't very spotty anymore.  I exclaimed to my hubby, "That's soot!  The little stinker was in the fireplace!"  Hubby's response was to laugh!  But he earned back any points he lost by sweeping up the mess for me, so he is not in the dog house after all.

I did not have the sense to appreciate the humor of the situation at that moment.  All I could think was that I did NOT want Norris getting sick by licking at the soot and that I didn't want him getting it all over the rest of the house.  I scooped up the sooty kitty and we went straight to the master bath where I drew a shallow bubble bath using Johnson's Baby Shampoo.  I wasn't sure how much of a fight he was going to put up so I wanted soap that would be gentle on his eyes.

I got in the tub with him and squatted down as I set him on his feet.  The water was shallow enough that it he was only submerged to his ankles.  At first he wasn't sure what to make of it.  He flicked his paws a little, realized he was wet, and let out an disgruntled meow.  He realized just how much he was not going to like this bath business when I poured a glass of warm, soapy water over his back.  That was when he put his lungs to use and started yowling. 

He didn't fight too hard to escape the tub as I lathered him up, but he was very vocal as he meowed bloody murder!  It was enough to bring Boots and Hawthorne to the bathroom door.  I had closed it to keep the others out, and to keep Norris in, in the event he did manage to escape the tub.  His brothers pulled at the carpet on the other so hard that it rattled the door!  Hearing that, Norris started to put a little more effort into escaping his bath.  He flailed, and wailed and wiggled to no avail as I rinsed him off.

The entire time, I spoke to him in a soothing manner while begging him to not hate me afterwards.  The bath water had turned dark grey from the soot by the time my furbaby was rinsed clean.  I wrapped him in a big, fluffy towel and just held him while his little heartbeat slowed back to normal.  When I let him down to the bath rug I waited as he shook himself a few times and flicked his paws.  He looked over his shoulder at me with an expression that nearly broke my heart.  It was one of those sorrowful looks that asked, "why would you do that to me?"  I toweled him as much as I could, then wrapped him in another dry towel to warm him up.

My kitten burrito and I snuggled until he stopped shivering in the towel.  His furry little head was wedged under my chin as he cuddled as close as he could.  Occasionally he knotted and yanked my heart strings with a pitiful mewl.  Needless to say Norris has me wrapped around his tiny tail, so the guilt-trip meows were definitely working.

Eventually, Norris decided he'd had enough snuggles and wiggled his way out of the towel.  I let him, knowing that he would grow up willing to snuggle more often if he knew that he could escape from it when ever he wanted.  Making him feel trapped would only make him associate snuggling as a bad thing and I don't want that.

The moment Norris's tiny paws hit the floor, big brother Boots came running over so fast that his paws actually slid on the tiles as he skid to a stop in front of Norris.  Immediately, Boots began touching noses and sniffing at Norris, inspecting him to make sure he was okay.  It was one of the sweetest, most endearing things I have ever seen Boots do.  Boots is the furry love of my life and can do no wrong to begin with.  It was beyond touching to witness such a moment between the cat brothers.

After about an hour had passed, I was finally able to see the humor in the fireplace debacle.  My hubby's spontaneous decision may have instigated a mess, but it was worth it in the end.  I got Bear kisses and snuggles before getting out of bed today, and I had the joy of experiencing Norris's priceless antics and growing pains.

Just like children, our furbabies grow up fast.  Norris is no exception.  He began asserting his independence  a few days after I brought him home from the SPCA adoption center.  He loves exploring the house, playing, and trying to keep up with all of his big brothers. Having him around inspires all of them to play so I catch glimpses of my teenage and senior cats acting like kittens again.  Words alone cannot express the sheer joy and delight I experience with having these cats in my life.  I am so happy to be a cat mom.

How Does This Blogging Thing Work?

Hello my friends! 

Today, I was struck with a bit of inspiration (courtesy of Norris the kitten) to finally start writing on this blog.  I initially created it for the sole purpose of commenting on posts at the one and only Redd Columbia's blog, because she is pretty darn awesome and I'm a big fan.  Okay fine, I'll be honest, I claim to be her #1 fan and use the #Redd'sOfficialStalker line now and then.  Obligatory disclaimer, I'm not actually her stalker but she is an awesome friend.

Anyhoot, I've decided to start a semi-regular blog series called "The Cat Mom Chronicles" to write about my adventures in being a cat mom.  Why?  Because my cats Boots, Causeway, Hawthorne, Dixon, Norris and Trouble all bring so much joy and laughter into my life that I can't resist the urge to share it with the world, or at least whom ever decides to take a peek.

Don't get me wrong, I love all of my pets.  My husband and I also have four very spoiled dogs and occasionally they will make appearances in The Cat Mom Chronicles!  For instance, SPOILER ALERT: in the very first installment our male Siberian husky, Bear, plays a huge role.

That's enough rambling from me for now.  I felt it necessary to post an introductory entry on the blog to at least explain where I'm intending on going with this whole blog thing.  I'm VERY new at it so don't expect perfection! 

Thanks for reading!

Jaxynn